Numb
by Ria-Dancer Girl
Summary: Andie after her mother's death. Inspired from 'Poor Lonely Girl' by Intense Angel Artist. Hope you like it! Sorry Chase and the crew aren't even mentioned! If you are a non-believer of God you may not like it. If you believe in God, I hope you like it! Ri


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**What if Andie was going to MSA when she lost her mom? How would she handle it? Inspired by 'Poor Lonely Girl' by Intense Angel Artist, because it was an awesome story and you have to read it, but pleez don't think I'm copying.**

Andie walked through MSA, the walls spinning and the voices mixing into a blur that was unrecognizable to the human mind. People she didn't know came up to her and told her that they were sorry, but they weren't, they didn't know her and they could never know her mother. How could they possibly feel the pain that she was in? How dare they try to comfort her? It wasn't like they could take away the hole left burning in heart, eating away at her soul. Her mom was gone. She was dead. Andie knew that. And still everyone kept whispering around her, like they had heard grave news that she did not yet know, and they avoided the words dead and death like they were a terrible disease. Andie felt numb and cold, she couldn't feel anything, and the only one who could make her feel again was gone. Voices asked her if she was alright, and she hated the owners of those voices. Why were they doing this? Why were they asking her pointless questions that they already knew the answer to? Why did they ask, even though they knew she would lie when she told them her answer? Andie wanted them to stop telling her that it was going to be okay. She wanted them to stop lying, stop making her lie. Nothing made sense anymore and Andie was numb all over her body, she felt like she was being controlled, like she was part of some sort of video game where her emotions didn't matter, because their was no way she could have made it this far on her own. All the world was just noise, noise that distracted her from convincing herself that her mom was still alive and would still be there when she got home from school, she would still be there, making Andie a snack and asking her how her day was. Andie felt tears welling up in her eyes and she refused to let them show in front of everyone, instead she slipped into an almost always unused washroom and let the tears flow.

"No!" she sobbed. "Why? Why God? Why? What did she do to deserve this, why not me, she was the angel, and I was the btch who shouldn't be here." Andie yelled. "I never appreciated her properly, I'm a horrible person!" She broke into sobs before feeling anger surge through her. She screamed with rage and, in a moment of pure hatred at the way of the world, she reached out her fist and punched one of the mirrors in front if her, watching as the glass shattered into the air, almost wanting it to cut into her skin and cause her pain, that was the only thing she could think of that might distract some of the pain in her heart.

She started crying again and with that, she raced out of the washroom, and straight out of MSA, not bothering to grab her bag or anything else, they seemed so unimportant now.

After she was far enough away from MSA, Andie began to wonder where she should go before deciding on the one place that had been hers' and her mom's alone. She still felt numb and dizzy, but the closer she got to her mom, the more those feelings started to fade.

Once she got to the river she began to relive the memories that Andie and her mom had had here. When she was six they came here for the first time, and they had a picnic underneath the tree that Andie was currently leaning on. They had liked it so much that they kept coming, and eventually, it just turned into 'their place.' Andie and her mom had come here after Andie's tenth birthday party, when she was so excited to be turning double digits, and on her mom's 30th birthday (she'd had Andie when she was young). Her mom had always talked about floating down the river one weekend, just the two of them, to find out where it went. But they didn't get the chance, because after her mom got sick, they started coming here less and less, until they just kind of stopped.

Andie realized that this was the first time she had come here alone, but then she figured out that she was not alone, her mom was there. When her mom had died, they had decided to have her body cremated. Andie reached inside her jacket pocket and pulled a small purple bag with the name Cassandra West written on it. Inside of it was a part of her mother.

She opened the bag and pulled out a handful of it's contents. She whispered, "I love you mommy." And then she slowly blew the handful of her mom into the river and onto the land around her, and she continued to do this until the bag was empty.

"There you go mom, now you can travel down the river to see were it goes, someday I'll follow you, I swear." Andie said quietly.

Andie sat there for a few minutes in silence before standing up, the numbness now almost gone, although tears were still streaming down her face. She was calm until she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. Andie quickly whipped around, slightly scared, but it was only a girl who was around the same age as Andie, in fact, she looked so much like Andie that they could pass as sisters.

"What are you doing here?" Andie asked angrily.

The girl ignored this question and simply said, "You haven't lost her forever you know."

"What do you mean? How did you know I'd lost someone?" asked Andie.

"Your mother," the girl replied, "And I have my ways of knowing."

Andie didn't know why but she found herself trusting the strange girl, and she found herself sitting down and saying, "Tell me more."

The girl said, "She's not dead, for there is no death, only a changing of worlds. She has gone to live with God in his golden kingdom. But don't ever forget that she loves you with all heart."

Andie replied, "But there's so much I want to say to her."

"Then speak to her now," the girl instructed, "what were the last words you said to her?"

"I said, I said that I'd see her later." Andie confessed.

"And are you a liar." the girl questioned.

"No." Andie said.

"Then those words must be true, you will see your mother again, but you will have to work hard to be good now, so that you can be with her later." the girl said.

"Why did God take my mom though?" Andie asked.

"Why do you think?" said the girl.

"I think that god took her because she was good enough to go to heaven and he wants to give everyone a chance to go to heaven, so he lets people like me have another shot at being good." Andie said in almost questioning tone.

The girl smiled and said nothing.

"Thank you, you're the only one who as actually made me feel better, made me feel at all. Everyone else just asked how I was doing and told me a bunch of bull about how it was all gonna be okay." Andie said honestly, the numbness now completely gone.

"No problem." said the girl, "just remember that if their is one thing that your mom leaving has proven it's to be yourself, cause life's too short to be anyone else."

Andie smiled, feeling the hole in her heart begin to heal again as she remembered her mother saying those words, and then she asked "Hey, I'm Andie by the way, even though you probably already know that. What's your name?"

"Cassandra." the girl said.

Andie sat bolt upright and asked, "Cassandra what?" as she turned around, but the strange girl was already mysteriously gone.

Andie knew that she should have been shocked, and maybe even a little scared, but she wasn't, she finally felt whole again, and she simply knelt down, and with a content smile on her face, she prayed.

**There you go. I was reading 'Poor Lonely Girl' when it suddenly inspired me to write this. I hope you like it! :) Mwah, kisses from Ria!**


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